A Beautiful Escape

LATE FRIDAY NIGHT MUSINGS

1:00AM, Saturday.

I’ve just spent my Friday night in front of my computer watching the first season of Awkward. I am loving this show, the script is very good and it doesn’t try hard to be funny… it just is. 

I like how Jenna (that’s the character in the show) gets the hot guy every other girl wants. It gives girls who watch that it doesn’t matter if they’re not in the cool clique, it’s possible to land the popular guy as a boyfriend. 

After a while though, I kinda got depressed. I mean, I could identify with Jenna (sort of, I never had problems being friends with people in my school… nor did I have any embarrassing moments) in terms of her wishing that she gets that coveted high school romance (or in my case, just romance.) People who know me personally will probably be raising their eyebrow at that statement.

How can someone who brandishes love as if its some unnecessary emotion identify with a person who yearns for romance? 

Yes, friends, I’m still human (somewhat) and romance is still hard wired to me as it is to all of you. I just learned to suppress it given my situation. There will always come a time when I will be sappy and emotional. It just came early this year, usually this comes at around May to July. Oo, may schedule siya!

Anyway, I decided to do some emotional de - cluttering. For starters I hid certain people’s feeds from my Facebook… then I hid them in the chat window. I don’t know but maybe not seeing their names will help. 

I’m also planning on limiting physical interaction. This might be hard to achieve though. Hihihi.

I hope this de - cluttering helps me.

I JUST WISH SOMEONE WOULD

It’s back.

I’ve tried to ward it off for the longest time, but it gets increasingly difficult everyday. The last time I felt like this was in high school, and while it gave me the best feeling ever, it only lasted for a year. The backlash was intense, so I don’t want to go through that again.

All I wanted was to be with someone. Someone I can go to whenever I feel like the world just hates me, or when I hate the world (which is pretty often). I don’t care about the sex, to be honest. I’m crude and crass and can come off as a horny pervert especially to my friends, but I don’t really want that for “us”.

I’m simple when it comes to things like this. Let’s hold hands when we walk, or when we’re just hanging out. Let’s rest on each others’ shoulders when we feel sleepy or bored. Let’s stay real close to one another when it’s cold (or when I pretend to be cold).

It’s a lot to ask in my case, I know. Everyone knows.

I just wish someone would.

I think Mother’s day should be celebrated everyday.

A day to honor the woman who raised you and imbued the values and the lessons that you need to face this world is simply not enough.

A lifetime of Mother’s days, and it still won’t be at par with the love and the care a mother can give her children.

Wholistic.